this is my winter song to you.

I have yet to figure out how to get my heart to stop beating so loud.
I am afraid every one around will turn to look at me, and know. they'll know.
I've seen you from the corner of my eye. standing half in the dusk.
shoulders sulking. chin down. hands stuffed into too tight already pockets.
then i hear it.
clunk. clunkclunkclunk. clunk.
the beat so loud that i feel it over the reverb of guitars and the vibrations of drums.
I feel the eyes burning a hole into the back of my head.
I know they know. they know that I know that they know. and we all know.
but my heart keeps beating. and you keep sulking and we keep pretending we're ok.
but my wintered love is still alive. my beat gives it away with every step.
and i know that you know.

love has been waiting, patient and kind.

I do not have a crush. I do not have a crush. I do not have a crush. I do not have a crush.

a crush is the curse of a silly girl. ever longing. ever hoping. ever crying.

I do not. have a crush.

i am not weighed down by the mediocre thoughts and maladies of infatuation.

a crush is a curse to a silly girl.

i do not have a crush.

i remember every word, i cling to every thought given. i do not giggle and bat my eyes.

i stand confident in all my womanlike ways.

i. do. not. have. a. crush.

i have a hope. a glimmer. a light in the distance, like a house calling you home.

a love is like medicine to a wounded soul.

i do not have a crush. i do not have a crush. i do not have a crush.