because im laid up on the couch...

10 Years Ago...
i was living in new york city. attending acting school. being a hot child in the big city. and scared out of my mind. 

5 things on my to do list...
*put pen to paper more often. 
*learn to make my own jewelry. 
*start my clothing swap with Jane already.
(and thats really all i can think of. partly because i am on pain medication - see below)

5 snacks I enjoy...
*veggie chips with hummus
*sliced avocado with a little salt
*spanakopita with tzantziki
*cheezits
*diet dr pepper

5 favorite things...
*my sweet pup, biggie
*my cowboy boots. 
*my record collection
*my slipper boots (which are very stinky, but i cant bear to part with them)
*did i mention my pup, bigs?

5 places I have lived...
*whittier, ca 
*Manhattan/brooklyn, ny
*philadelphia, pa
*winter park, fl
*long beach, ca. 

5 things most people don't know about me...
*my nervous tic is to rub behind my right ear with my middle finger. 
*i fall all the time, and am constantly covered in bruises, cuts and bumps. and most of the time, i don't know where they come from. 
*i have been in love only once. but i can't wait to be in love again. (and i am really happy that i can say that without shedding a tear.
*i absolutely cannot cook or bake, nor can i sew or am i all that crafty. but i like to believe that i am. 
*my favorite place in the world is new york city (specifically alice's tea room, and sitting on the steps with jane eating the worlds best cookie!!)

happiness is a warm gun.

ten things that make me happy happy happy!!

* when my sweet pup burrows under the blanket i have over my lap to cuddle against my leg.
* diet coke out of a can (not bottle, not glass. can. the can is very important for some reason)
* when people give me bags of clothing that they don't want anymore. thank you new wardrobe.
* buying or receiving new/used books. then sharing those books with friends.
* lounging on the couch watching bad television while its gloomy and rainy outside.
* big hugs.
* getting people fun and quirky little gifts that i know they'll love. (i actually have an addiction to buying
   gifts)
* that time, right before the sun sets.
* my bangs.
* finding the perfect happy hour.            

this too shall pass.

being laid up on the couch with a cracked tailbone and an extremely bruised body makes one very appreciative of all the bad tv out there. i've watch marathons of 'pitbulls and parolees', 'tabatha's salon takeover', and 'how i met your mother'.
i have a pretty battered and bruised body, but those are the prices that you pay for being an extremely clumsy gal. so far in the last year i have: been thrown from a horse, fallen down some stairs and cracked two ribs, fell twice in a matter of 30 minutes in vegas and skinned both knees, i am constantly covered in mysterious bruises and cuts, then on saturday i was walking across a cement floor and my feet went right out from underneath me. slamming into the ground and re-cracking an old injury from about 8 years ago.
here's to life on the couch and grunting or groaning everytime i have to move or get up. but, like i always say: this too shall pass.

I hate girls that giggle all the time... -audrey hepburn.

its finally starting to feel like it is christmas around here. i am curled up in a brand new oversized knit grampa sweater, under a blanket. outside, the rain pours down and inside the lights are all lit. the smells of cinnamon waft through the house. it makes me warm and gooey feeling on the inside.

last night my friend Jessica Fife planned and executed a wonderful party for our group of ladies. it was a clothing exchange/snowglobe making party. so amazing, in my part i took 3 huge trader joe's bags of clothing to exchange and came home with so many wonderful new things (including this sweater, a cute new sailor dress. some purses a great pair of white mocassion booties.) the evening was filled with girl talk. champagne. snowglobe making. and walking home carrying the largest bag of clothing ever.

fife is very tall, plus with her amazing mermaid heels she was even taller and accidently got cut out. whoops!!!

here's steph making her snowglobe, out of mason jars, egg shells, water and glitter! 

mine was a mexican wrestler covered in glitter. nbd. 

and here she is! fife! 

i was in love with my last minute thrown together outfit. very parisian. (you cant see the bottom but it was a tight grey forever 21 skirt with brown tights and my cowboy boots)

all in all it was a really lovely evening, i spent the morning today cleaning the apartment and hanging all of my new clothes up. and i realized....wow. i am almost completely out of room in this closet. uh oh. 

i hope we didn't break, but im glad we broke the rules...

this fur hat was the subject of many a persons night last night. and as i so eloquently put it....its like being slowly suffocated by a beaver. yet. i couldn't pass up the opportunity to wear it all around. i might be in love. (or at least clothing lust!)

today is the day for buffalo exchange runs. drag brunches. harry potter and ladies night. 

thank god for amazing women in my life (and the amazing gays). seriously. thank god. 

so tired of giving a damn about an absent hearted man.

well, there it is. the first big heartbreak of my life, aside from loosing my father.

yes. i got dumped the day after my 29th birthday.
yes. i cried for three days straight.
yes. i am still sad, but i am accepting of it.

i have taken responsibility for my actions in the demise of this relationship. and trust me when i say that i am very much not an innocent bystander.
it is very difficult to say goodbye to someone you love and have spent the last 365 days loving. but it is a lot harder to fight to hold on to someone that needs that time to be free.
i still very much love the boy. and i still very much respect and appreciate him for making me want to better myself as a person not only for him but for me as well.
i believe that the most difficult part of the ending of a relationship is when you lose that person that you called not only your lover, but your best friend.

but, the ending of something always means the beginning of something new and possibly better. and i wish nothing but joy and happiness for the boy. and i hope and believe he wishes nothing but the same for me. i loved our relationship, even through the rough times and i will love the boy till my last breathe. he is nothing but a good man who wanted us to both be happy and i love him even more for that.

love don't come in black and white.