Weep for yourself, my man, You'll never be what is in your heart...

these are the kind of girls who hang dream catchers above their beds, who eat pomegranates and read old history books for fun. these are the kind of girls who take pictures of their hands with disposable cameras and wallpaper their bathrooms with pretty roses. these girls sketch eyes and mouths and little drawings all over things, they look you right in the eye and almost through you when you speak to them.

these girls camp out in their backyards for fun, they light candles everywhere and if you visit them at home they usually have all sorts of animals. their wardrobes are filled with silk robes and bows and hats, they drink tall glasses of milk and snack on chocolate while they watch the sun rise. these are the kind of girls who ride bikes through the city to the cinema that plays old movies in the middle of the day. they watch “breakfast at tiffany’s” or “rosemary’s baby.”

these are the kind of girls who are quiet in public. they were the kind of girls who put too many marshmallows in their hot chocolate, and when the snow came down, lit the fire, and pretended to be in the north pole. they would watercolor things they couldn’t see and eat french toast for lunch. these girls were the kind of girls who always believed in unicorns, they believed in the power of love and dreams. they were the kind of girls who gazed out of windows at bigger worlds, and rain made them think of faeries and tree houses.

in the summer they read jane austen and listened to fleetwood mac while sipping hot tea. they told ghost stories under huge floral sheets, candles glowing below their faces. the spooky endings made them scream and laugh. they huddled together so they wouldn’t get too scared. these are the girls that didn’t need boys in their lives to achieve happiness.

your girl is lovely, hubbell.

"maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them." - Carrie Bradshaw

I just watched this episode of Sex and the City, the one where Carrie makes the revelation that there are two types of women in this world. the "katie" girls and the "simple" girls. taken from the movie 'the way we were'. katie (ka-ka-ka-katie) was this girl, this complicated, opinionated girl with wild curly hair. the kind of girl that pushed hubbell to be all the man she saw him to be. but hubbell, well...he couldn't take it. so he left her. for this simple girl. with, straight hair.
it sounds silly. but you have to see the movie to understand.
and that is what i have realized. i am a ka-ka-ka-katie girl. i was never meant to be a simple girl. i was never meant to stand on the sidelines cheering someone on. i was supposed to be on the field. running with them. in front of them. behind them. urging them on and have them run with me. in front of me. behind me. urging me on.
and i will settle for nothing less.

because im laid up on the couch...

10 Years Ago...
i was living in new york city. attending acting school. being a hot child in the big city. and scared out of my mind. 

5 things on my to do list...
*put pen to paper more often. 
*learn to make my own jewelry. 
*start my clothing swap with Jane already.
(and thats really all i can think of. partly because i am on pain medication - see below)

5 snacks I enjoy...
*veggie chips with hummus
*sliced avocado with a little salt
*spanakopita with tzantziki
*cheezits
*diet dr pepper

5 favorite things...
*my sweet pup, biggie
*my cowboy boots. 
*my record collection
*my slipper boots (which are very stinky, but i cant bear to part with them)
*did i mention my pup, bigs?

5 places I have lived...
*whittier, ca 
*Manhattan/brooklyn, ny
*philadelphia, pa
*winter park, fl
*long beach, ca. 

5 things most people don't know about me...
*my nervous tic is to rub behind my right ear with my middle finger. 
*i fall all the time, and am constantly covered in bruises, cuts and bumps. and most of the time, i don't know where they come from. 
*i have been in love only once. but i can't wait to be in love again. (and i am really happy that i can say that without shedding a tear.
*i absolutely cannot cook or bake, nor can i sew or am i all that crafty. but i like to believe that i am. 
*my favorite place in the world is new york city (specifically alice's tea room, and sitting on the steps with jane eating the worlds best cookie!!)

happiness is a warm gun.

ten things that make me happy happy happy!!

* when my sweet pup burrows under the blanket i have over my lap to cuddle against my leg.
* diet coke out of a can (not bottle, not glass. can. the can is very important for some reason)
* when people give me bags of clothing that they don't want anymore. thank you new wardrobe.
* buying or receiving new/used books. then sharing those books with friends.
* lounging on the couch watching bad television while its gloomy and rainy outside.
* big hugs.
* getting people fun and quirky little gifts that i know they'll love. (i actually have an addiction to buying
   gifts)
* that time, right before the sun sets.
* my bangs.
* finding the perfect happy hour.            

this too shall pass.

being laid up on the couch with a cracked tailbone and an extremely bruised body makes one very appreciative of all the bad tv out there. i've watch marathons of 'pitbulls and parolees', 'tabatha's salon takeover', and 'how i met your mother'.
i have a pretty battered and bruised body, but those are the prices that you pay for being an extremely clumsy gal. so far in the last year i have: been thrown from a horse, fallen down some stairs and cracked two ribs, fell twice in a matter of 30 minutes in vegas and skinned both knees, i am constantly covered in mysterious bruises and cuts, then on saturday i was walking across a cement floor and my feet went right out from underneath me. slamming into the ground and re-cracking an old injury from about 8 years ago.
here's to life on the couch and grunting or groaning everytime i have to move or get up. but, like i always say: this too shall pass.

I hate girls that giggle all the time... -audrey hepburn.

its finally starting to feel like it is christmas around here. i am curled up in a brand new oversized knit grampa sweater, under a blanket. outside, the rain pours down and inside the lights are all lit. the smells of cinnamon waft through the house. it makes me warm and gooey feeling on the inside.

last night my friend Jessica Fife planned and executed a wonderful party for our group of ladies. it was a clothing exchange/snowglobe making party. so amazing, in my part i took 3 huge trader joe's bags of clothing to exchange and came home with so many wonderful new things (including this sweater, a cute new sailor dress. some purses a great pair of white mocassion booties.) the evening was filled with girl talk. champagne. snowglobe making. and walking home carrying the largest bag of clothing ever.

fife is very tall, plus with her amazing mermaid heels she was even taller and accidently got cut out. whoops!!!

here's steph making her snowglobe, out of mason jars, egg shells, water and glitter! 

mine was a mexican wrestler covered in glitter. nbd. 

and here she is! fife! 

i was in love with my last minute thrown together outfit. very parisian. (you cant see the bottom but it was a tight grey forever 21 skirt with brown tights and my cowboy boots)

all in all it was a really lovely evening, i spent the morning today cleaning the apartment and hanging all of my new clothes up. and i realized....wow. i am almost completely out of room in this closet. uh oh. 

i hope we didn't break, but im glad we broke the rules...

this fur hat was the subject of many a persons night last night. and as i so eloquently put it....its like being slowly suffocated by a beaver. yet. i couldn't pass up the opportunity to wear it all around. i might be in love. (or at least clothing lust!)

today is the day for buffalo exchange runs. drag brunches. harry potter and ladies night. 

thank god for amazing women in my life (and the amazing gays). seriously. thank god.