time, is on my side.

i wish i had a time machine
i want to go back to that time, even a year ago
when i was happy
when i smiled
when i didn't worry
when i still had my dad.
i want to go back to the time when boys were nice to me
when i didn't worry about money
when i didn't need a car
i want to go back to early morning "good morning" texts.
and late night phone calls.
if i had that time machine i'd go back to christmases not spent together.
and fights that were had
because i think there is truth in the pain
i'd see all the meaningful movies again
i'd laugh so hard i couldn't breath
if i had a time machine
i would date all the boys that wanted to date me
i'd hug my family more
i'd go home for that last thanksgiving
i'd tell my dad i loved him
i'd have asked him every day to quit smoking
just to know, that i did...
i would kiss all the boys, and dance with all the girls
i'd listen to my friends more
i'd trust more

if i had a time machine,
i'd go back to when it wasn't so hard.


but i don't have a time machine
and i can't go back
and im starting to wonder if going back would even make a difference.
and im starting to wonder if its worth every ounce of blood?
and im starting to wonder if the happiness im searching for is actually in the past.
or if i have to simply learn from all my mistakes.

but i still really wish i had that time machine...